Nobody Writes em Like They Used To

Setting: A room with blinding white walls, ceiling and floor. In the middle of the room there is a white elevated table with four white bar stools with stiff wooden backs that are also painted white. The room smells faintly of disinfectant. There is a door. The doorknob slowly turns as three people and a Wookie enter and take seats around the table.

Jeff: ... So that's why I'll never use toilet paper to wrap a novelty gift again.

All others: EWWWWW!!!!!

TE: Speaking of disgusting do any of you use the first sheet of toilet paper?

Conf: What do you mean Edison?

TE: You know the piece of toilet paper that holds the rest of the roll together when you open it up.

Jeff: Why would there be a problem with that? It's still tissue paper.

TE: Cause there's glue on it dip shit. There are stickiness issues.

Chewie: Mrrrroumpgh! Mrrrooummpggh! ughhh! ughhhhhh!

All others: EWWWWWW!

Conf: That my hairy friend was uncalled for.

Jeff: I dunno. I still think it's fine. I mean tissue paper is still tissue paper. You of all people should know that MR. Edison. For God's sake you invented the...(Edison punches Jeff across the face sending him to the floor, unconscious)