Delta Dawn, what's that rose that you got on?

It's been awhile. A few things have changed.

1. Got a dog

2. ......

Well that's it really. I got a dog. His name is Parker and he's a German Shepherd mix. He is around six years old and we got him from the pound.

I think the rain is starting to get to me. I was supposed to play softball for the last three weeks but I can't cause its been rained out. I find myself thinking and laughing out loud at old "Newsradio" scenes with Phil Hartman, and Andy Dick. Man I love that show.

I decided to let my inner monologue skits with historical characters die. It was getting boring to write. I think I enjoy thinking about historical characters being vulgar and crass. It cracks me up when I think of Edison as a foul mouthed drunkard.

I'm going to see the Astros play against the Mets tonight. I hope I get to see some fireworks

Jeff

ps

I'll be in Irvine from Aug 30th to Sept 5th. Get ready crew.

I'm so drunk I can barely see, but it helps me get through another day (stll the best show ever)

Setting: A concrete sidewalk with a black two-bar railing faces the harbor. Behind is a wooded park with joggers running away from their problems, or more practically, their calories. There are three men and one Wookie leaning against the railing looking out at the harbor. One of them is drinking vodka from the bottle (drinking isn’t the right term, chugging is a more apt description) and the Wookie is smoking a cigarette.

TE:(Leans in dangerously towards Jiff and drunkenly asks) How was f-in London Jeff. (Stumbles forward, catches himself at the last instant and straitens himself, but thinks better of it and sits down, taking another long swig on his vodka bottle)
Jeff: It was good I guess. It was a bit lonely, but it snowed so that was good. Wanna see some pictures?
Chewie: MROUMMPGH MROOUMPGGHHH!!! (breathes in the smoke through his cigarette)
Jeff: Ok Chewie here we go, and can you blow that smoke somewhere else? (coughs)
Chewie: Mrroumpgh. (Blows smoke away from Jeff)
Jeff: Here’s the first one. I got in at 6 in the morning on Sunday and since that was really my only day for seeing stuff. Here are the pictures (Jeff reaches into his coat and pulls out an envelope of pictures. Edison struggles to his feet, and rests his head on Jeff's shoulder as he gazes at the pictures)

Here's Buckingham Palace



Green Park


The Rosetta Stone



Me and some old dude



a tv/guitar



snow




and most important of all


All in all it was fun. Cheers mate!

Conf: Oh my god. Thats so lame, right Edison?

TE: (looking sick, Thomas leans forward and vomits on Jeff's shoe)

Jeff: OH MY GOD MR. EDISON, MY SHOES!!!! (before Jeff can lean down and clean his shoe, Chewie puts his cigarette out in the vomit. Jeff looks over at Chewie) I hate you guys.

Nobody Writes em Like They Used To

Setting: A room with blinding white walls, ceiling and floor. In the middle of the room there is a white elevated table with four white bar stools with stiff wooden backs that are also painted white. The room smells faintly of disinfectant. There is a door. The doorknob slowly turns as three people and a Wookie enter and take seats around the table.

Jeff: ... So that's why I'll never use toilet paper to wrap a novelty gift again.

All others: EWWWWW!!!!!

TE: Speaking of disgusting do any of you use the first sheet of toilet paper?

Conf: What do you mean Edison?

TE: You know the piece of toilet paper that holds the rest of the roll together when you open it up.

Jeff: Why would there be a problem with that? It's still tissue paper.

TE: Cause there's glue on it dip shit. There are stickiness issues.

Chewie: Mrrrroumpgh! Mrrrooummpggh! ughhh! ughhhhhh!

All others: EWWWWWW!

Conf: That my hairy friend was uncalled for.

Jeff: I dunno. I still think it's fine. I mean tissue paper is still tissue paper. You of all people should know that MR. Edison. For God's sake you invented the...(Edison punches Jeff across the face sending him to the floor, unconscious)

There's nothing gay about it in our eyes. It's guy love between two guys.

Ok I'm back. I am getting bored of the standard blog procedure. You know what I'm talking about noble blog reader. Me starting off with a lame joke, then bitching and moaning, and then me sobbing for twenty minutes in a corner praying that the peanut butter jar isn't empty for my midnight consolation snack. That hole will never be filled with food Jeff.

I've decide to explain what is going in my life with a cast of historical figures. They will help me explain my thoughts and feelings to the world. So without further ado, let me introduce my new best friends:

Thomas Edison is a famous American inventor. Best known for his invention of the light bulb, he is also credited with numerous other discoveries such as the telegraph, and the carbon mircrophone which is used in all telephones. He also fathered 6 children (that we know of) with two different women. Say hi there Mr. Edison.

Thomas Edison (TE): Blow it out of your ass there Jeff.

A little rude, Mr. Edison, a little rude. Moving on we have Confucius. Confucius is a famous Chinese thinker and social philosopher who's ideas have influenced Eastern culture. He also enjoys back rubs and occasionally likes to git r' done. Confucius you're up.

Confucius (Conf): Confucius say's hello and to eat your greens, and respect your elders, and be humble, and...

That's enough there Confucius. I swear once you get that guy going he'll never shut up. Trust me. Lastly, for today, Chewbacca. I know what you're saying Chewie is not a real historical figure. Listen people! Just because he was born in a galaxy far, far away does not exclude him from the historical society. He was, after all born a long time ago. Chewie, go ahead.

Chewie: Mrrrrouwmpgh!!! Mrrrrrrrrrooooouwwwmogggggghhhh. Mrrr.

Yes, yes Chewie we know you love to watch Trading Spaces in your spare time.

So that's the crew for now. So let me tell you what's going on in my life in the new and improved Thoughts from Cerebro v.2.




Jeff Hou (JH): So guys I got a new job in Houston! And I'm going to London on Saturday for training! Isn't that exciting?

TE: I always hated London. It's always raining.

Conf: Confucius says that rain is good for crop like discipline is for child. For you see...

TE: O shut the fuck up Confucius! Always with the rain and children and the fucking discipline!!!

JH: Mr. Edison there is no reason to...

TE: Why "Mr. Hou"? if that is what you actually are. I mean for gods sake what sort of man watches Project Runway? and a marathon of Project Runway for that matter. Don't you tell your best friend that you love him on numerous occasions?

Chewie: Mrrr Mrrr Mrrr.

JH: Laugh it up fuzzball! It's a good show! And it doesn't mean what you're thinking it means!

TE: Sure Annabelle. Sure.

JH: I hate you Mr. Edison. I hate you.

Lullabye

So I think that instead of moving back to San Antonio and finding a job in Texas I'm going to move to New York City instead. That means I'll be living out of peoples apartments and trying to find a job for the next two months. I will be back in San Antonio on the 12th and then off to New York at some point in January.

In other news, I really want Nintendo DS Light. They're so cool! Awesomeness always ensues from that small gaming system. My family and I have been playing tetris for pretty much the entire time that I've been home. I really wanna see my friends: John, Arya, Calvin, Rob, and Grace. So if you're any of the aforementioned people please call me.

What about me?!?! I'm a medical marvel!!!!

I'm now graduated. I need a job.

Christmas is coming so I decided to post things that I want. I actually don't expect to get any of these, but just maybe, just maybe...

-Green Lantern Ring (i don't know my ring size)
http://www.80stees.com/products/Green-Lantern-Ring.asp

-Maxtor 300 GB hard drive

-a nice brown corduroy blazer from Guess or something.

-a Job preferably in NYC, Houston, Austin, or Seattle

-my Xbox being modded (Carlos i'm looking in your direction)

-a Nintendo Wii

-a Xbox 360

Anyways I have a job interview on the 22nd of this month in Houston. I'll be getting to California on the 23rd and be back in Texas on January 12th. Happy Holidays!

Mama Say a Prayer

I hate school and its work.

By the way this is the best picture of me ever!



I'm awesome.